I cannot believe how long it has been since I have posted to ANY of my blogs. How easy it is to stay away when life is going fairly well - or, at least you are staying busy. How fast you come flying back when the walls come crumbling down around you.

I think it is hilarious that the last post I made was the my husband got a job, especially since he was laid off on Friday. At least, as he said, he wasn't in the first round of layoffs. He was in the second. He figures there will be a third. His boss, well his ex-boss, is looking for a job. We are in, what I lovingly like to call the "batten-down-the-hatches" mode. The storm flags are flying and the all hell is about to break loose.

Job hunting is crappy to do during the holidays. There is just no other way to put it!

My father has cancer. My best friend has acute pancreatitis. I just found out that a medication combination that was working to help with the pain level I was having for one problem was causing my migraines to reappear.

Have to rethink that one now.

And, I want to totally re-vamp my blog. But, I have no idea in the world how to go about doing that. So, one more thing to learn. But, I seem to do some of my best research when I am really stressed.

Tomorrow is the unemployment office and applying for food stamps. I've been through this nightmare before. The last time we did this it lasted two years and we ended up sleeping on the floor of my mother's den for nine months. I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that this time. But, you just never can tell.

I, however, am hoping for the best.

IT'S OFFICIAL - HE GOT A JOB OFFER

Well, I could go back and see just when the job hunt stated, but I just don't have the energy. In fact, I really want to be asleep, but my brain is just whirling and twirling too much for me to actually relax!

My husband FINALLY got a job offer. He's come really close a couple of times, and he had entered into negotiations twice with two different companies. One in Arizona and one in Illinois. But, as negotiations can, things did not come together.

This time, this time it looks like things are going to fall into place. And I feel like we were rounding the fourth turn and heading into the final stretch and all we could see were the asses of the other horses in front of us. Now, coming into the home stretch, Erik is hitting his stride and passing everything in sight. It is glorious to see.

After seven years of pure hell, it really is okay for us to have a little bit of goodness in our lives. So, I'll take it. And, be very, very grateful. Something that I haven't really felt for a very long time.

And, magic is come into our lives again. Prosperity is something I think I had stopped believing in, at least for us. Two years homeless after he lost his job in 2001. Then we went through bankruptcy, losing our house, car, almost all of our possessions, etc. It is humiliating and very debilitating to go through that. And, even though you may get back up on your feet financially - it takes much, much longer to get back up on your "feet" mentally. In other words, it takes a while for you to get over that "it is all going to disappear tomorrow" feeling.

We were just starting to feel like things could have some permanency when it was time to start job hunting again. I almost feel like job contracts should be abolished. Hi, we'll hire you, but only for three years, and in one year increments at that. It is a ridiculous policy.

But, this company, the one that has made the gesture towards hiring him, is one that he has already stated he could work for until retirement. That is saying a lot from the guy who suffers from perpetual boredom.

Anyway, I know that this is just mundane, boring, regular stuff I am talking about, but you see, this is HUGE news in our household. To NOT be homeless again is HUGE. And, I just had to rattle on about it.

Take care, PLAY-PASSIONATELY and try out my link to Big Crumbs. I think you will be very happy that you did. Just look in the column to the right.

Have a great day.
Annie

Tornado Aftermath

tornadoaftermath, originally uploaded by jazzway.

This is a picture of my mother. But, it is from years ago. She was a nursing home administrator and the nursing home she was working at had been hit by a tornado the day before. She was walking the grounds to see just how extensive the damage was, and I was documenting the excursion. I don't think I've ever seen her looking quite so dejected as in this photo.

She's just having her period - it's not a crime....

I saw a commercial on TV tonight that confused my daughter, and I have to admit, myself. It was sponsored by Always brand menstrual pads. Not the most common of topics I suppose, but what the heck. I'm not one to just leave an uncomfortable subject lying there because it is, well....uncomfortable.

The commercial talked about girls in South Africa missing school one week a month because they were having their periods and that they were consistently so far behind because of this that they would eventually just drop out of school. We figured that this was due to some sort of social stricture - but, I was surprised to find out that is really is more of a simple hygiene problem.

So, it seems that Always brand and Tampax brand have joined together with the United Nations, etc. to bring education, dorms, fresh water, pads, and other essentials to the girls so they don't have to miss school simply because they are experiencing the natural functioning of their bodies.


Protecting Futures

I encourage you to go read about the program.

At the very least I encourage you to purchase Always brand and Tampax brand. At least through the end of 2008. The length of the program.


Visit ProtectingFutures.com

What a Job Offer????

You know that the job offer isn't one that you really want when, after looking at all the numbers (cost of insurance premiums, new tax bracket, etc.) you realize that you will actually be bringing home LESS money.

So, what do you do?

You negotiate for more time to make the decision.

And watch the interesting emails that come in immediately afterwards.

Two fascinating job opportunities arrived for my husband right after we decided that this job offer he received on Friday probably wasn't the right one for him. But, what do you do when you know that the end of the contract is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER???

Fall back 10 yards and punt.

Learn to close your eyes and dance on that beam suspended over that waterfall.

Go to bed and have great sex!

All of the above.

Meanwhile I am working to start my own business. I am teaching myself jewelry making. What a trip.

However, as I used to be a massage therapist (for 10 years) and I loved working with my hands...it is something that I am truly enjoying. When I have some decent examples of my work I will have to put it up so everyone can enjoy the fruits of my labor.

The stress of the full-time job I have as job-hunt secretary is getting on my nerves. I don't work full-time because of my disability. And, that is what I am doing right now - working full-time. As a job hunt researcher, resume writer, correspondent, etc. I am not getting paid nearly enough for the work that I am doing.

Well, I just wanted to touch base and actually write on my blog. And, to upload a picture of mine.....my interpretation of what it is like to have dissociative tendencies - a visual representation of internal emotions.

For What It's Worth...

I made it through Thanksgiving, and I am surving the LONG job hunt.

My sweetie had another phone interview today (Portland, Oregon) and he has a face-to-face interview tomorrow. Now, that would be nice, for him to get a new job and us NOT have to move. But, we are generally not so lucky.

ENTERPRISE RENT-A-CAR totally MESSED UP our Thanksgiving weekend car rental and I did not get to spend but a couple of hours with my mother. That was a total disappointment. This is the SECOND time that I have had a reservation confirmation code from them and they have NOT had a vehicle available for me at the appointed time.

I will NEVER attempt to rent a car from them ever again. So, if you want to know how I REALLY feel about them, feel free to ask.

The same thing is going on with me and DELL computers. I purchased a new XPS laptop computer from DELL back in June of this year.

I am on my fifth or sixth (YES - 5th or 6th) new unit since the original purchase. And, all of the computer exchanges that I have made have all been for pretty severe hardware issues. DIMMS that were scratched, optical drives not recognized, pointers going crazy and traveling all across the screen for no reason what-so-ever. I could go on and on....but, who really cares. Certainly not DELL, who will lose no money what-so-ever due to the fact that their service department is pretty much a joke.

Oh, and as an XPS owner I am supposed to have my own direct 800 number (for XPS support). Well, I call the XPS 800 number and I give the nice little recording my "express service code" and you know what happens? Every! Single! Time! I am routed to the Inspiron Department. And, although they are very nice about believing that I am a daft woman, they cannot help me as my computer is NOT an Inspiron. So, they are always transferring me to the XPS department.

I had to actually argue with a tech for a half an hour - A FREAKIN' HALF AN HOUR to finally get her to understand that I was not just dialing the phone incorrectly. Like I'm stupid or something. No, just crazily insane with anger, but dialing a phone number is something that I can actually manage.

Finally, today I was able to talk to a supervisor who understood when I started talking about routing systems for incoming callers. Maybe, finally, something MIGHT actually get done about the whole debacle.

I am insane today

Ok, along with the job search comes the insane part of this process called - INTERVIEWING!!!

THIS is why I do not work and play well with others. I would have a full court press melt down during this stage if I were the one having to do the actual interviews.

Oh, and then there is the WAIT!!

I CANNOT STAND THE WAIT!!

Hubby, bless his heart, does the interviews so well. And then there is the wait. Do they want him? Will they call him back? Will the recruiter call him back? Will the recruiter call him again if that particular job doesn't want him, or thinks that he didn't interview particularly well?

Wait!

Wait!!

Wait!!!

It is an insane process. Who thought it was a good idea?

And, he hardly ever gets to meet these people who are interviewing him face-to-face. Nope, he is a tech-head. So, he does tech interviews. They are done over the phone. They are almost always over an hour long. They are grueling. Or, at least they seem so to me.

I can't seem to sleep right now. I can't seem to process information really well, and I'm the one trying to keep up with all the "job search" crap going on.

I'm checking his email, replying via email to recruiters, sending out resumes, fielding phone calls when they come in to the house phone, tying to keep the bad news from him and channel any good news to him as quickly as possible.

I feel like I am juggling about a dozen balls all at once and someone out in the audience is feeding flaming batons into my juggling act. So far I am keeping everything up in the air - but, I feel the crash coming.

I do not think I can keep up this pace much longer - and yet, it is this pace that must be maintained until he has a job. I will take as much of this burden on as I can so he can keep the job he has until he has a new one...I just hope I don't lose it all before we have to make the actual move.

I'm starting to have panic attacks again. I haven't had them in so long - my heart rate was up to 114 the other day during one. Nothing I am doing is working to keep them away. Oh, and to add to the stress, I am working to transfer from one laptop to another because of a warranty replacement. It's a laugh a minute right now.

I'm going back to installing software on the new laptop. And, trying not to go buy ice cream, or go on a buying spree. Either would be detrimental.

Night all,
Whimsical-Annie